I won't I won'tIn the past 5 years I have learned so much. How to live without anyone around me. How to smile even when I am at the end of my motivation. How to get over what seems to never become better. But the most important thing I've learned is that I can not trust anyone, not even those you call your family because sometimes those are the worst. I used to think that family was the essence of life but I realized that the only family I had has fallen apart the day you left me. Or maybe we were already broken since dad became ill. I don't know. I learned that you were my only family and that all the others were only there to tear us downbc you were born into a family who doesn't want you to live a better life than the one they are living. They never supported you when you needed someone instead they only made you feel worse and critized you for every choice you took for yourself. The sad part is that they destroyed you because after a while you couln't handle all that bullshit alone and you just gave up. They took you from me. And they are trying to do the same thing with me but I am a lot stronger than you were. I had to be that strong because at the end of the day I just had myself. I won't let anyone tear with I am fithubg for apart. Maybe I became cold but that's the only way I can survive this alone. I won't trust anyone and I will reach my goals without needing someone because that's what destroies us, to need someone. You were amazing and I am so thankful to call you my mother. I am missing you every day but I will get throw all these bullshit.